Counting Numbers
by Ms. Smiley Kills Your Dreams
Summary: His true pain. His soulless love. His life's gain. His golden dove. His number one. [Three chapters.]


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or its characters. If I did, these two would be in so much depth with each other...

Chapter: One

This was an interesting video game.

Well, kind of, but not really due to how many times Matt's already played it. So he just watched the screen, pressing on buttons surrounding it.

It was a hot, baking evening in their stuffy apartment. Mello was researching some more up on Kira and Matt had been playing video games since dawn. It was another casual day and neither really left the couch except for other important stuff.

As Matt continued to watch the screen, he began to study the characters. He didn't do this often, really, but, somehow, he just thought he should.

They weren't similar, him and the character. In fact, they seemed to look completely the opposite, but today was some different day. He'd already played this game and normally he didn't replay the games he already did, but somehow he wanted to play it again. And this, weirdly, not-all-that-good character just called him.

He swung his kicks, which the other dodged, and earned himself a kick to the gut. Matt mentally cursed the damned character, moving his thumb down to a different button and throwing down a few moves in return. This present brought them home and Matt could only move on, for winning was not really that big of a prize anymore.

He watched the screen go black as it loaded and he tilted it slightly as a certain blonde entered the view. He was on their laptop, his face looking concentrated as he nibbled on the chocolate bar. Matt smiled slightly, watching him furrow his golden brows as the screen lit up his creamy, delicate skin.

Matt's eyes scaled the burned skin on the side of his face and after lowering too low, settled on his interesting lips.

He wanted to not only kiss them, but just rub his thumb over them to feel how soft they were. They surely looked that way.

He knew he couldn't, though. If he ever even came that close to the sexy, leather-dressed blondie, he'd get a year's worth of beating. And probably a bullet somewhere in him.

If he could tell him in a way that wasn't embarrassing or stupid or just too much, he would. In Wammy's, he nearly even asked _Linda_ for help. Yeah, Linda. After that, he didn't seem to think anyone was going to help. Anyway, they probably were just going to tell everybody rather than do what he asked.

After all, Matt never really attempted to tell Mello, but today wasn't going to be it. Of course not, he thought, it was Mello. If he told him, the feelings... they wouldn't be returned.

The thought put a rock in Matt's throat and a pain swelled around his chest. He was right, for Mello was the Mafia Boss and Matt was just his annoying hacker.

There would never be a way they could be together.

Anyway, the beautiful, killer angel was too perfect for someone like Matt, so much imperfection he was. He smoked for God's sake and was as useless to Mello as a sack of potatoes. Why did he even let him stay?

Maybe...

'Matt.' Don't even try. You know that isn't it.

'Matt!' He knew it, but it wouldn't hurt to just wish that maybe there was-

"Matt!"

Matt turned to Mello, his view in full glory from the couch seat beside him. He watched Mello's icy orbs study his face and Matt raised his eyebrows as if impatience was taking over him when really he was becoming a little anxious feeling that heavenly gaze. Mello closed the laptop and the poor lighting struck all of the features it could, shadowing his forehead and showing off his gorgeous face. Now if only Matt could...

"You're kind of losing." Mello pointed out, nudging his head towards the video game console in Matt's hands. At those words, Matt spun his head back to the game and cursed under his breath.

"Thanks, I guess."Matt murmured in reply, grimacing at the health bar on the screen.

His thoughts never left while he played the game. No, they just waited for another time to make him cry.

A time where his number one could see it all.


End file.
